February 11, 2014

I Don't Mind Being Just A Housewife

I Don't Mind Being Just A Housewife

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Oftentime when I'm having some nice casual chat with my male friends, most of them will come up and agree with idea: It's not cool for men to be weak. The interesting thing is, I can also say that it's true from a female's perspective.

In fact, I think the pressure applies to both gender equally in today's modern society. As my country develops more (Indonesia), the middle class population increases in size and education level also rises up. This naturally boosts and gives way to more intellectual development and stronger pursuit of 'happiness'.

A lot of my friends and people in Jakarta are lucky to be born in a kind of family where Maslow's bottom of the pyramid is already satisfied ie. no worry about physical needs such as food clothing house sleep. Many people have also satisfied the second bottomest level ie. no need to worry about safety concerns.

Life is pretty much stable. No financial turmoil, no anxiety on new clothes every new year, no dangerous physical hazard from leaking roof during rainy season, etc. Level 1 and 2 are satisfied, basically.

As we go up the hierarchy, we start discovering level 3 ie. the need to be loved and a sense of belonging. Strong friendships and healthy family communication mostly provide for this level. Level 4 is the need of esteem ie. confidence, sense of personal achievement, to respect and being respected in return.

After all level 1-4 are met, then people can go on to self-actualise their maximum potential. This level 5, is the ideal environment to catalyse personal growth. It's at this level that we can start seeing explosive creativity, strong morality standards, acceptance of the world and its colorful differences, selfless and noble ambitions, etc.

Church has been talking a lot on life ambition lately and it got me thinking. I used to think I want to be rich, be successful, build businesses etc. Thus I put on a front of being tough, very critical minded, very social, ambitious and pursuer of what I want to achieve. I looked down on those women who opts to be housewives and I certainly won't pick that path, cause that way I feel I'll have more worth as a woman. Bear in mind that this mindset was around even when I'd already professed my Christian faith.

In my search for life purpose, however, God teaches me that my mindset was wrong. He shows me that I desired success for all the wrong reasons such as gaining people's acceptance, loving money, want to live a comfortable flashy life. But the most convicting one was I wanted to be ambitious cause I'll regard myself higher if I can achieve something.

And that's just pure ego. And a lot of insecurity. Jesus loves me the same, none more none less. It's just that everyone receives different calling in life, and although we may be doing seemingly different things/professions, we Christians are all united under One Name and serving One Big Purpose in life. There'a no difference.

Some are called to work in the business field, some are not. For some who don't come from a more economically privileged background (still need to satisfy level 1 and 2), pursuing work within their field of passion is a luxury. For those who come from a more privileged family, financially supported by parents, working with passion or no passion is a choice.

For Christians, it's just the same. Passion isn't for us to choose. Work itself is a responsibility that all of us must bear and endure because we're all called to work, whether it is within our line of passion or not.

I've also observed that some people appear so ambitious, wanting to do this and that, achieve this and that, but inside there's a fragile, empty soul. I myself was there before. Wanting to appear strong, but the inside is full of holes.

When I encounter people who have principles of : "Do anything to achieve what you want, even the illegal/immoral/deceitful stuffs. Pursue success even when it comes at a cost of someone else's soul." I got reminded strongly by the Spirit that it isn't true strength. It is simply selfish. And true men are always selfless.

True strength comes from living for others. Fighting and persevering for a cause greater than themselves, even if the cause comes at the expense of their own lives. Parents who endure long hours of hardwork to be able to provide physical and safety needs of the family - that's true strength. Genius engineers who endure trainings of all sorts to increase a nation's welfare - that's true ambition. Business leaders who work hard for the sake of the employees' long term welfare - true ambition.

Rip away a person from his money, achievements, possessions, family and friends, and see his soul bare naked without all those life complementaries. How's the soul doing?

It's okay for men and women to be ambitious. It's also okay if there's no ambition. I thought I had mine, only to find that I don't, and to find again that I do have some! But this time, it's about people, family and friends that I'm responsible to. I'm far away from being a selfless woman like Jesus, but at least I'm heading there.  My soul is going better thanks to Him so let me boast about God's power in my life. How about you? 😁