April 13, 2012

Friendship Analysis Draft

Luke 6:45
“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”

It's a very interesting verse since we know that what we let out outwardly is highly influenced by the inwards. We may, or may not, realise it. But our attitude is entirely dependent on our mindset, on how we perceive the world around us, on what we choose to believe in.

What we say reflect who we are.
What we do reflect what we think.

I've always been a person who enjoy observing people, trying to get to know them more by means of conversing, asking questions about their thoughts, values, opinions in life, etc. And of course, their answers is an important factor in analysing their personalities/tendencies.

However, I also find it easier to know them more by questioning what they think of others. For example, whenever possible I will ask my friends what's their view of this person's behavior in a certain situation, or what they think of this person's characters (can be a stranger or another friend).

Their evaluations, or observations, about those other people are great tools to understand them more. I can get to know things like the subjects they emphasize more in their answers, their perceptions on what's right and what's not, etc. I can also see if they're the stubborn type, diplomatic, ignorant, compassionate, judgmental, intellectual, observant, impatient, etc all through their lenses on seeing others.

Another excellent tool is to ask people to describe their past. The bible say that wisdom is more valuable than any jewel on earth, worthy to be earnestly pursued in our journey of life, specially that of a Christian life. Then how do people grow wiser? By asking God to let us hold her, or asking more life experiences from Him. I'm not a wise person nor will I call myself a life expert, but listening to how people share their history to you is really an incredible way to have an insight of who they really are.

Think of questions like: How do they cope with their experiences? What are the things they share? Is it centred on business, broken relationships, family issues, or highschool memory? Are they focusing too much on life problems? Have they realised the difference between past and present, and future? These questions and many others are great way to understand people deeper.

Of course, spending more time together with people is the ultimate tool of understanding. I get to see these persons under different sort of situations, different kind of life pressures and demands, different life stages, etc. I believe that us humans are dynamic creatures, that we're constantly evolving and seeking to continually improve ourselves. And for Christians like me, a never ending journey of soulseeking and becoming more and more like His image.

Then overall, I'll try to understand their thought processes more. Absorbing all the figures I have about these people and integrating all the relevant information, everything done in a wish to see who they really are. And following the dynamic nature of human beings, I'll also constantly reevaluate my sights and opinions, to keep up with their changes.

I think it's really important for us to keep searching for our own strengths and talents, our delicacies and fields that we're weak at. Soulseeking, some may say. Well, as a Christian I know the end of my journey is at God's mercy (a peaceful death and to be in heaven hopefully). But what about you? Have you known where or how or what you want to be the "end"?

If you have, congratulations. You know where you're heading in life. And if it's a crystal clear direction, even a bigger congratulations! At least it's much easier for you to pick people that you know will always be around to accompany your journey, since they're running in the same path, toward the same goal.

Me? Still a bit blur and smudgy.

I pick my dear friends carefully, I really do. There are many checklists that they should pass to be able to get into my trust zone. Not that I have problems in trusting people, it's just that, if I only have the capacity to have this amount of trust and comfort, I'd choose to distribute it wisely to people whom I know are worthy of it. I'm just a human, after all.

Accept and love who you really are.

Then you can start to accept and love others as who they truly are.