A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a
patient man calms a quarrel.
How many times have we muttered unnecessary words
when we're angry? When the tension is high and we are wronged, it's very easy
to be distracted and be cross. Communication will be hugely impaired and a
loving heart will quickly switch into a battle mode. This is war, we tell
ourselves.
Everyone does it so that's the norm. That's
the way of the world. But we Christians who have been saved by God's amazing
grace should act differently. How can we handle conflicts in a Godly way?
James 1:19-20
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone
should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's
anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
According to the bible, we have to note these 3 key
rules. They are accompanied with some verses to support how important it is to
follow these directions.
Quick to listen
Proverbs 1:5
Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and
let the discerning get guidance
Proverbs 10:8
The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering
fool comes to ruin.
Proverbs 19:20
Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the
end you will be wise.
Proverbs 18:13,15
He who answers before listening—that is his folly
and his shame. The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of
the wise seek it out.
Romans 14:19
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads
to peace and to mutual edification.
Slow to speak
Proverbs 15:1-2
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word
stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of
the fool gushes folly.
Proverbs 15:14
The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth
of a fool feeds on folly.
Proverbs 16:23
A wise man’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips
promote instruction.
Proverbs 18:2
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but
delights in airing his own opinions.
James 1:26
Those who consider themselves religious and yet do
not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion
is worthless.
Matthew 12:36-37
But I tell you that everyone will have to give
account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For
by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who
holds his tongue is wise.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your
mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Slow to become angry
Proverbs 14:29
Whoever is patient has great
understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.
Proverbs 29:22
An angry man stirs up dissension, and a
hot-tempered one commits many sins.
Proverbs 17:27
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a
man of understanding is even-tempered.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for
anger resides in the lap of fools.
Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man
keeps himself under control.
Proverbs 19:11
A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his
glory to overlook an offense.
1 Corinthians 13:5
Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not
easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.
That's all about it. Simple and easy. True to Jesus
principles, be proactive and reach out to empathize with people first. Listen to their reasons, recognize their needs, and be aware of their emotions. Keep
reminding ourselves to be quick on trying to understand people, and slow on
letting our opinions out. I believe there's no conflict that can't be solved
with the above 3 principles.
Even if you are angry, remember, be loving still. Familiarize
yourself with a Godly anger that hates wickedness, but with a compassionate
heart that seeks to understand others first.
Ephesians 4:26-27
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go
down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
1 Peter 3:8-9
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one
another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not
repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this
you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
Colossians 3:12-13
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves,
you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness,
and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who
offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Have patience and keep your thoughts level-headed.
Wrap tightly around your heart all those mercy, kindness, etc and never leave
them lying flat doing nothing at home! God's mercy is like a flood that has
washed away all our sins. Extend that mercy to people who wronged us and be at
peace!
Philippians 1:27
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner
worthy of the gospel of Christ.
Listen first, be understood later.
God bless your heart :)
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